i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Randomize
