its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
