I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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