God, you're like boner-b-gone
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
