You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
