so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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