Don't you send me to vm
Porn is love you can see.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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