They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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