Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
