do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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