Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
