dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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