based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
