suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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