In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
