Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
