Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
