i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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