Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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