Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the condom got lost in my hair
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Drunk is not a location!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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