I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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