After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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