how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
