and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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