oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
