remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
