Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize