shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
