I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
