fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Four minutes until I can fart!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
