Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
The air taste purple.
Randomize
