She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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