it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
