the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
