you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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