We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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