it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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