operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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