dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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