is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
