yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
