The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
