it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
