A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
