Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I don't deserve a penis
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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