Plan B is the new Plan A
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
