im having a threesome with these popsicles
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
