do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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