he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
