If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
